What I'd like to do today...
is get your version of what happened.
Oh, you mean the truth?
Of course. First, just state your name...
and your occupation for the record.
Oh. Egg Shen. Bus driver.
What kind of bus and where, please?
Oh. Tour bus.
Bus for tourists. San Francisco-Chinatown.
Thank you. Now-
Oh, before we get to the meat of this thing,
um, do you at the present time...
have any knowledge of the whereabouts...
of a Mr. jack Burton or his truck?
Oh, God. Will you leave him alone. Mr. Shen, please.
You could be in a great deal of trouble.
Half a city block explodes in a ball of green flame-
green flame- and all hell is breaking loose here.
And there are people who say you're involved,
that you might be responsible,
that you're a very dangerous man.
Now, if you're protecting jack Burton-
You leave jack Burton alone!
I mean, we are in his debt.
He showed great courage.
Okay.
Okay. But if I'm gonna be your attorney,
there are a few things that I have to know...
that still don't make any sense to me.
Like, um,
do you really believe in magic?
You mean Chinese black magic?
Yes.
Oh, absolutely.
Are you still serious about this?
And, uh, monsters and ghosts as well, I suppose?
Oh, sure. And sorcery.
And I suppose that...
you expect me to believe in sorcery as well?
Of course. Why?
Because it's real.
How can I know that, Mr. Shen?
How? Yes. How? Help me out here.
Please. How?
See? That was nothing.
But that's how it always begins-
very small.
This is jack Burton in the Pork-Chop Express,
and I'm talking to whoever's listening out there.
Like I told my last wife, I says,
“Honey, I never drive faster than I can see.
Besides that, it's all in the reflexes.”
You just listen to the old Pork-Chop Express...
and take his advice on a dark and stormy night, all right?
When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck,
taps the back of your favorite head up against a barroom wall...
and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if you've paid your dues,
well, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye...
and you remember what old jack Burton always says at a time like that:
“Have you paid your dues, Jack?”
“Yes, sir. The check is in the mail.”
Well, you see, I'm not saying that I've been everywhere...
and I done everything,
but I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on here,
and a man would have to be some kind of fool...
to think we're all alone in this universe.
You're stuck on even. I know it's odd.
All right, even! Another! Come on! Even! Come on! Come on!
You want one more? One more! All right!
Buy some experience here. Okay.
It's odd. You can't count.
Even.Even. You know it.
Let's play some fan-tan here, buddy boy! Three!
Heaven and earth, boys. What can I tell you?
Did you like that one? Huh?
What did he say, Wang? In English.
Something about beginner's luck. It didn't translate.
- But he quits. - He quits? What is this?
It's a brand-new clay, and the man's still got 100 bucks in his pocket.
What is this? I'm not gonna complain,
'cause I'll bet I'd have lost my shirt in the next 20 minutes.
Ah, well, it breaks my hearz' to do this, Wang,
but I figure next time I'm down here,
you'll just gang up on poor old jack so fast,
he won't know what the hell happened. No.
Sure. Easy come, easy go, huh, Wang? No!
Not next time. Now.
Is this gonna get ugly now?
Huh? I hope not, because I thought what we were here,
racial differences notwithstanding,
was just a couple of old friends, you know, just both of us Californians-
Ah, shit, Wang. It's only a game.
Nothin' or double. This knife...
cuts this bottle in half.
Nothin' or double. Bullshit.
- Nothin' or double, jack. - Wang, man, don't be stupid.
I need the money. I got near a thousand bucks here, Wang.
1,148,jack.
Okay.
But not that bottle.
This bottle.
Okay.
You're out of your mind, Wang, but God bless you!
It's all in the reflexes.
It always works at home.
Have me over for dinner some year and prove it. In the meantime, pay up.
1,148 bucks times two.
- I don't have that kind of money, jack. - I didn't hear that, Wang.
I'm just a poor Chinese boy, you know?
Yeah. You own a restaurant.
That's a hell of a lot more than me. Oh, yeah, right.
What I meant was I don't got that kind of money on me.
That's what I thought you meant. Where's your truck parked?
Jack, first I gotta go somewhere. No, you don't.
Yeah, I do. So how about we meet at my restaurant in a few hours?
I pay you the money then. Pay the money now.
Where you gotta go? The airport.
Yeah, right, over my dead body. If need be.
I'll follow you. You don't trust me after all these years?
That makes me sad. That reminds me of an old Chinese joke.
Save it. I'll give you a lift. Get in the truck.
You were gonna follow me, jack. I know.
Then I came to my senses.
So who are we picking up? A girl.
I don't wanna talk about it. A girl? Where from?
Peking. This is a big day in my life.
I should have gone home and gotten 40 winks. A girl from China.
All right. I never done that.
I've picked up girls from everywhere else, but never from China.
She pretty?
I'm gonna marry her, jack. Oh, God!
I've known her since we were kids.
I haven't seen her in five years. I came here alone.
I worked my fingers till they bled. Before you knew me, I slept on the floor.
I saved every nickel to bring her here because I love her so much.
I can't eat, sleep or think properly without her anymore.
She's gonna put my whole life in order.
Boy, listen to me, huh? Real tough guy, huh?
You sound a little nervous, pal.
That's why the bottle didn't slice. My mind and my spirit are going north and south.
Flight number 26 has just arrived...
at Gate number 7.
Whoa!
Who is that?
She has green eyes. You know how rare that is, jack?
How can you tell from here?
Not her. She's trouble. Miao Yin.
Beautiful green eyes like creamy jade.
Trouble, huh?
Can I ask you a serious question? Absolutely not.
Then would you ever consider just jumping right into- Sure.
But never with a person in your condition.
Let's talk about my condition. Just what's wrong with it?
You should try standing downwind where I am. It's Miller time.
You know what I say when it's Miller time?
Wait a minute. Hey!
Don't!
Don't what? Lords of Death street gang. Punks from Chinatown.
This isn't good. What are they doing here?
Your passport, please.
Tara!
Miao Yin!
Excuse me.
Miao Yin.
Excuse me.
Let's you and me have a little talk, friend.
What? Where'd you get that?
Wait a minute, pal.
Get that one!
Jack! Come on, jack!
Where?
Uh, call the cops!
Son of a bitch must pay.
All right. What's going on, Wang? Why'd they steal your girl?
You tell me! How come it's not safe to walk in Central Park? Huh?
Or give a stranger a lift anymore? Because the world's full of crazy people! Hoodlums!
That American girl back at the airport seemed to know something was up.
Stay away from her, Jack. She's nuts too. She's a lawyer.
She's a what? Aw, come on!
What the hell!
They got this sort of clubhouse where they all hang out.
- To sharpen their knives, huh? Where is it? - Thank you, jack.
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
I am Mr. Egg Shen with this wonderful tour this morning.
Sit back. Enjoy yourselves.
A long time ago, Chinese men with gold rush fever...
flooded into California, we call-
Mountain of gold, see? Leaving behind their wives and children,
working for years to complete the Transcontinental Railroad,
saving all their pennies.
And then they sent for their families...
to help build this beautiful Chinatown...
you see outside your window this fine warm day.
- Go right, down that alley! Lords of Death down that way! - What alley?
Go right, now!
Where the hell are we?
Come on, yack.
Excuse me, ma'am.
I don't suppose you saw-
No.
Keep moving.
What is it, a parade? A funeral.
Fighting tong. They're Chang Sings.
The fighting tong? Don't panic, jack.
They're okay. They're good guys.
Maybe we should try a different alley. What do you say-
Wang, these guys, these Sing Dings- Chang Sings.
- They got enemies? - Wing Kong.
Who wear red turbans. Holy shit!
These guys are animals, jack.
You shittin' me?
- What's happening, Wang? - Chinese standoff.
A what?
Don't make a sound.
Who's that?
No questions... just get out of here, jack! Get out of here!
Jack!
I think it was Lo Pan!
Who?
Don't look, jack! I already did!
Don't! I won't!
It's Lo Pan! Come on! I can't see!
It's okay. It's okay. It's only temporary.
Over here!
Bend over.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I ran straight through him. I'm never gonna get Miao Yin back.
How the hell could I run straight through him? It only appeared that way.
Right. Lords of Death, jack.
Okay. I'm going home. Keep your money.
Hey, Wang Chi. Looking for us?
They know your name. That's not good. Let's go!
My truck! Forget it!
The Lords of Death are controlled by the Wing Kong, jack.
Lords of Death just errand boys for the Wing Kong.
Great. Who wiped out all those yellow turbans up there? I mean, those guys were winning.
He says it was the Storms- the Three Storms.
Three guys did all that? Listen.
What about that whatever-it-was I ran straight through?
Fast!
Lucky us. We made it.
All right, where's my truck? I'm out of here.
You don't wanna go back there. Isn't your truck insured?
Of course it is. That's not the point. The smart man gets it later.
Smart man calls the cops. Cops got better things to do than get killed.
Oh, yeah? So do I!
Mutual Fidelity Insurers of Sacramento.
Well, there's gotta be a listing, honey. I pay 'em six G's a year in premiums.
China is here, Mr. Burton. Yeah, go ahead.
The Chang Sing, the Wing Kong-
They've been fighting for centuries.
What does that mean? Huh? “China is here”?
I don't even know what the hell that means. All I know is,
this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley...
while his buddies are flying around on wires cuttin' everybody to shreds,
and he just stands there waiting for me to drive my truck...
straight through him with light coming out of his mouth?
Jack, please-
Hello.
When did this happen? It didn't, Uncle Chu.
Not like he says. Yeah, it did. Two hours ago.
Tall guy, weird clothes. First you see him, then you don't.
Is this just a switchboard? Lo Pan appeared on the street?
- Why didn't you tell me? - I didn't want to alarm you, Uncle.
I'm gonna tell you about an accident, and I don't wanna hear “act of God,” okay?
Mine's jack Burton. Good afternoon, Mr. Wong.
Eddie Lee, meet my dear friend Jack Burton.
- Eddie's the new maitre d' here at the Black Pool. - And a whole lot more.
I don't know my policy number. It's in the glove compartment.
Just-just look under B-U-R-T-O-N, will you? jack Burton?
Yeah? Oh. Go ahead.
- Boy! The guy you always told me about, huh? - Give me that again.
Then that was your abandoned truck.
Abandoned like hell. Yeah, r-Hello?
Hello?
Christ! Bad news.
The Lords of Death stole it after you ran away.
They stole my truck? Take it easy, jack.
You're with friends. We'll find it for you.
You're damn right you will, Wang, and my money.
And time is money to a guy like me. And your phone is dead, by the way.
How do you think I feel? I lost a whole girl!
The Lords of Death, they were only on a stupid joyride, see?
Not acting on any orders from the Wing Kong. They just wanted a girl to sell.
And Miao Yin got in the way. Plus, I found out the skirmish you guys stumbled into-
Lo Pan, the word is, ordered the boss of the Chang Sings assassinated.
That was his funeral. It was a war, Eddie.
- What are you doing here? - Don't panic. It's only me-Gracie Law.
Oh, great.
Just happen to be in the neighborhood on a dark and stormy night?
This is my neighborhood. Well, sure it was a war.
And anybody that showed up was gonna join Lem Lee in the hell of being cut to pieces.
- Hell of being what? - Chinese have a lot of hells.
And what the hell is Gracie Law doing here?
She can't get enough of me.
He wishes. Look, you know me.
I'm always poking my nose where it doesn't belong.
And as a result, I admit it. This mix-up is my fault sort of.
But I've got it on good advice that those punks that jumped me and ripped off his truck,
the girl they kidnapped, they took over to the White Tigers for a quick sale.
- Who was she? - My fiancée. The White Tigers?
Oh, God, I'm sorry. If we get over there tonight, maybe we can buy her back.
A search warrant's too complicated. Violence-out of the question.
Hold it. Hold it! Slow down.
I'm feeling a little like an outsider here. You are.
Jack, listen. I need more of your help. I can't pay you today, okay?
- Shit! - How can I? I need all my cash for Miao Yin.
- And it's gonna cost. She's got green eyes. - Oh, no.
Seriously? That's an extra to these people.
It's like leather bucket seats. It's double the price.
What people? Look, this Lo Pan I ran over-through-
Has spirit medium powers, like the immortals.
His flesh and his bones are atomized.
He becomes a dream.
What? That's an exaggeration. I promise.
Please, help me, okay? I got a great idea.
- Relax. - I am relaxed.
Look, this is as far as I go, because I'm a dead giveaway, see?
I'd go in there, but they know my face, all those slavers, and they'd want to push it in.
- Not while I'm around. - It's all up to you now, jack.
My destiny rests in your capable hands.
- I'll do my best. - Thing is to make them drop their guard.
- I'll try. - Thing is to look stupid.
He does.
Boy, it sure is raining cats and dogs.
Uh, the cab driver said- Well, he told me that I could-
Well, that the White Tiger would-
Oh. Uh, just a minute, please.
Excuse me for a second, okay, guys? I think I know that car.
What's she doing now?
Strange girl.
That building there- the White Tiger.
Oh, God, it's creepy. Do we actually have to go in?
B-Because I will. If we have to,
I'll go anywhere or do anything to get my story.
This is my big break. Just sit tight.
We've got one of our best men inside right now stirring the pot.
How do you do, ma'am? Henry Swanson's my name,
and excitement's my game.
Cash or charge? Oh, gosh.
Cash, I guess. I mean, it's not deductible, is it?
Mrs. O'Toole will take care of your needs.
Boy, you know, I wish these were in color,
because what I really am sort of in the mood for is a girl with green eyes.
And price is no object, Mrs. O'Toole.
Fresh off the boat's the way I like 'em.
The more exotic, the better.
Chinese girls do not come with green eyes.
Too long. Let's go in. It's only been 10 minutes. Give the guy a chance.
So how long you been in the U.S. of A.?
Three month. Where from?
Hung, Kong.
What happens? You stay here a while,
old girls leave, new girls come in?
Maybe. Take your tie off, please.
Yeah, I know what you mean. My wife gave it to me for Christmas.
Holy shit!
Wow!
Green explosions? People flying in and out?
That was not real. I wanna talk to the cops.
I want my truck back. Now, where the hell am I?
My office. Sit down. What, you sleep in your office?
What I need to get straight is- I mean, were these guys- I mean, these Storms-
What are they, magicians? Yeah, sort of.
It's hard to explain. Try real hard.
- Here. Drink. - If the Storms have Miao Yin,
- there's only one place they could take her. - Lo Pan.
- Yes. - The godfather of Little China, Mr. David Lo Pan.
You mean the David Lo Pan that's chairman of the National Orient Bank...
and owns the Wing Kong Import/Export Trading Company,
but who's so reclusive that no one's even laid eyes on this guy in years?
- Who the hell are you anyway? - Oh. Well, I'm-I'm Margo Litzenberger.
I'm with the Berkeley People's Herald
I've been trying to get somebody, anybody from the press...
to listen to me about this, Burton.
And it's just not possible that you actually saw David Lo Pan.
Because the bastard's afraid to show his face. He's got more enemies-
He's got Miao Yin. I'm going over there and get her back!
- What are you, nuts? - Hey, who's that?
Um, it's okay, Tara. You can go back to sleep.
- From the airport. - This morning, sure. That's what I was doing there.
I was protecting her civil rights, making sure she gets a chance.
This is just so shocking.
I must just be so monumentally naive. You are.
And so now we have to grab your fiancée- Wait a minute.
I'm a reasonable guy,
but I've just experienced some very unreasonable things.
Depends on how you look at it. The hell it does!
So somebody, I don't care who, tell me what is going on!
- The truth? - I can take it.
We don't know.
I'm going now, alone if I have to!
Going where? It's pouring out. Lo Pan's. The Wing Kong exchange.
The Wing Kong exchange?
The most dangerous cutthroat den of madmen in Chinatown?
You can't just waltz in and out of there- Like the wind.
Yes, I can, Miss Law. My mind and my spirits are as one.
As two. I said I was coming.
I'd go with you, but- I know. There's a problem with your face.
Okay. You people sit tight,
hold the fort, and keep the home fires burning.
And if we're not back by dawn, call the president.
This is gonna take crackerjack timing, Wang.
Total concentration. You ready, jack?
I was born ready.
God, I love working nights! Wow!
Don't get up, don't get up. Phone company.
All right, boys, where's the mini panel at?
Probably through here, huh?
Wang.
Good work, jack. I think they actually fell for it.
Yeah. Hey.
Last time we had this problem was on account of some squirrels chewing through the wires.
Remember that? I'd better locate that central junction box.
I think it's right down there. Yeah.
What does that say?
Hell of boiling oil. You're kidding.
Yeah, I am. It says, “Keep out.”
We've got to do something.
Hmm.
Goat butts against a hedge,
and its horns become entangled.
I don't think I've had the pleasure.
Miss Gracie Law, Mr. Egg Shen.
Egg's kind of our local authority on Lo Pan.
He's helping us out. How? It has been almost two hours.
Let's just go over there, beat down the door- No, no, no, Miss Law.
We have to gather our strength,
because now there's clouds and thunder.
The image of difficulty at the beginning.
Mmm. But finally, we shall bring order out of chaos.
Look Yeah.
What you got here is two people dragging a third. Miao Yin.
You did that, right?
I guess so. I hope so.
Jack, check this out.
So what is this, Chinese or something counting backwards?
Not backwards. Downwards.
Of course, the Chinese mix everything up.
Look at what they have to work with.
There's Buddhism, Confucianism,
and Taoists, alchemy and sorcery.
We take what we want and leave the rest, just like your salad bar.
But there's one thing even David Lo Pan must acknowledge.
All movement in the universe...
is caused by tension between positive and negative furies.
And when the furies are out of balance-
As they are in Lo Pan, who is cursed-
Then the people turn into demon and live forever.
Repulsive and evil, existing only to plague the living.
Well, then-I mean, what you're saying is this David Lo Pan-
What is he, a-a ghost?
He plays at being a man.
A creature of vast, dark, destructive power.
All right. We're out this hatch and back up the cables.
That sound like a brilliant idea or what?
The cable is three stories high and covered with grease.
Exactly. It's real and we can touch it,
so at least we know where we stand, huh? Yeah, in deep shit.
What? What the hell?
Shit! See?
Did you think they'd let us walk in and out like the wind?
Yes! I thought that was your whole damn point!
My point was to find Miao Yin at any cost!
This is salt water, Wang. And get your truck back!
I'll buy another one! But there's only one Miao Yin!
Jesus Christ! Where are we?
Hell of the upside-down sinners!
Hey, you!
Come on over here and fight like a man.
Oh, shit, jack.
I don't like the looks of this.
Where are we, Wang?
You are nowhere!
Oh, boy.
Look, we came here to see David Lo Pan.
All right? Huh?
David Lo Pan. And you have succeeded, Mr. Burton.
What, you? I don't get this at all. I thought Lo Pan-
Shut up, Mr. Burton! You are not brought upon this world to “get it.”
Come on! Lo Pan is like- Nothing you can understand.
There are many mysteries, many unanswerable questions,
even in a life as short as yours.
Well, the way I see it, it doesn't mean we shouldn't ask. Like where's my truck?
You're not looking for a truck. You're looking for a girl.
A girl with green eyes. Yes'.!
She must be something extraordinary,
or I'm not about to waste another 2,000 years.
Well, there can't be many Chinese girls running around with green eyes these clays.
- There are not, never were. - Beggars can't be choosers.
But I can!
Tell me about Miao Yin, huh?
What province is she from? Hunan?
Her mother? Her father?
He must be a holy man. I must know.
You got a tongue, Dave. Ask her yourself.
Mr. Burton, if you have an influence...
over your youthful friend, you'd better exert it now.
Otherwise, I will have both of you roll off to the hell where people are skinned alive!
It's that simple! Understand?
Are you crazy? Is that your problem?
- No, he means it, jack. - My problem is this place.
This place is my tomb. I'm buried here.
A young man, a king, a warrior, is entombed...
in this old man's crippled body.
And all I need is a woman, Mr. Burton-
a special kind of woman with dragon-green eyes...
to make me whole again, young again,
so that I may rule the universe from beyond this grave.
Ching Dai. The God of the East.
Who, him? This guy? No, not me, Mr. Burton.
My demon.
The god I must appease in order to regain my heart, my blood.
A girl with green eyes to satisfy Ching Dai.
A girl brave enough to embrace the naked blade.
- And when I find her, I will marry her. - Never!
Then Ching Dai will be happy, and my curse will be lifted!
You can go off and rule the universe from beyond the grave.
- Indeed! - Or check into a psycho ward. Whichever comes first, huh?
Jack, will you- Jack, what? I'm supposed to buy this shit?
2,000 years, and he can't find one broad to fit the bill?
Come on, Dave. You must be doing something seriously wrong.
There have been others, to be sure.
There are always others, are there not?
You seem to be one who know the difficulties between men and women,
how seldom it works out.
And yet, we all keep trying like fools.
Who are these people? Friends of yours? Huh?
Now, this really pisses me off to no end! Come on.
Stick around. Where's Miao Yin?
In this building? Safe.
- Where is she? - Safe!
Safer with me than any creature on earth.
Go ahead. You want some bad publicity, you give us the runaround.
But this woman here, she has a deadline,
and her pen, my friend, is mightier than your sword. Uh, yeah.
No visitors.
- I don't make the policy around here. - Come on, man.
Give 'em a tour. What's it gonna hurt?
I can help you.
You okay, jack? Yeah.
We're in a room. No windows.
A few skeletons. Where's the light coming from?
The floor.
With the easing of trade restrictions,
next year, we will start importing...
A lot of strange things from Peking.
What sort of strange things?
Are we going up or down? It feels like down.
Great. Great. Thank you, jack.
I think we've come up. First we went down.
Then they brought us up.
Two, three feet thick, I'll bet.
Probably welded shut from the outside and covered with brick by now.
- Don't give up, jack. - Oh, okay. I won't, Wang. Let's just chew our way out.
Lo Pan has plans for us. If he didn't, we'd be dead doornails.
Lo Pan? Which Lo Pan? Little old basket case on wheels,
or the IO-foot-tall roadblock?
- One and the same persom, jack. - You know something you're not telling me, Wang.
Myths and legends.
I don't want to insult you. No, no, no.
Go ahead. Insult me.
It's about all sorts of scary things.
About an ancient army of the dead,
the spirit city, and monkey sacrifices.
And the first sovereign emperor of China,
that mad monarch who federated our seven warring states,
defeated Lo Pan, and imposed upon him...
that horrible curse of no flesh in 272 B.C.
A lot of Chinese hear these things when we're kids.
Then we grow up...
and pretend not to believe them.
No horseshit, Wang?
No horseshit, jack. I don't blame you.
I'm Chinese, and I don't even want to believe it.
But it's for real-sorcery,
Chinese black magic.
Blindfolds!
You make one move-
Now, let's try that again, huh?
Don't make me kill you, tough guy.
Come on! Come on, jack!
- Come on! - How?
Great work, jack. Yeah, yeah.
We're all inside- me, Gracie and Margo.
And Uncle Chu and Egg, they're out in the street...
in Egg's bus ready to get us out of here. Great.
Here, jack. Hey, I'll trade you.
All right. Which way? Fast, before they wake up.
There, I think. Down there.
No pathetic excuses.
I smell the blood of human beings. Find them!
Boil them until their flesh falls off.
You heard me!
Empty. Oh, Miao Yin.
I need you, Miao Yin.
You, whose eyes flash like emerald lightning.
Ching Dai, make me flesh again soon.
Please.
Let's go. It's clear.
Safety. Oh, yeah.
Wang!
First time you ever plug somebody?
- Of course not. - Come on!
Do we want to go up or down?
Up or down? Up.
All has become...
strange.
A world so unreal, and yet...
at once so frightening.
Open up! Open up, or I'll blow his head off!?
Open, or he dies and then it's Ching Dai!
And your souls be with his to the hell of the holy dragon!
You all right?
Yeah.
Margo. Jack!
- Where's Gracie? - On the floor next door. She's a-a wildcat.
- How you gonna spring us? - I have no idea.
That way maybe!
Wang, haul ass!
Come on! Come on! Keep moving!
Margo, jump in!
Go! In there? Are you nuts?
Where's Margo? I don't know!
Where are we? Where's Eddie?
Beats me!
Where's jack? Jack!
Jack.
Jack!
Hey! Sorry.
Sorry. I'm just thrilled to be alive. Yeah, sure.
Let's go.
It's like some giant garbage disposal. I think it is sort of.
Would you stop that- Would you stop rubbing your body up against mine?
Because I can't concentrate when you do that.
Oh! You couldn't pay me more for- I mean, really.
Where's jack? It's okay. Everybody relax. I'm here.
Jack, I know where we are.
This is like a central- What do you call it? Sewer?
Yeah. Water comes in up there. Seawater from the bay fills this room.
Then they divert it through all these pipes to different chambers.
I bet up there's where we first got on that elevator.
All right. We're almost outta here.
Now from here on, it gets pretty normal-offices, storerooms- a nice false front.
I count to three.
I open that door. We move out. Everybody got that?
Ready? Follow the leader. One, two, three.
We may be trapped.
Hide!
Hide?
Hide! They only saw me!
We'll fight together jack. Do or die.
Ha!
Time to go.
The bus is right outside in the parking lot.
Okay, here's the deal.
I run interference. You bring up the rear. Can you handle that?
Can you?
Well, all in a night's work, huh? Yeah.
Hey, you got a problem like that again, you just- Reach for the sky!
- Let's go! - Go. Go!
Come on!
You're doing real good, guys. Come on, jack! Come on!
- Let's go! - Open the door'. Open the doors'.!
Let's go! Hurry!
Hurry! Move it, Egg!
- Get out of here! - Duck'.!
We made it. Holy shit, we made it!
Where's Miao Yin? Inside.
Somewhere inside.
Where's Gracie?
Oh! Let me down, you overstuffed monstrosity!
Oh! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!
Oh!
Ah. What does it mean?
Two girls with green eyes?
After all these years.
You bastards unchain me. You're not gonna get away with this. Where's Lo Pan?
This one has fire as well.
Hey, listen, I've had it up to-
here with you maniacs. Up to here.
I want to see that disgusting flesh peddler, David Lo Pan, in person.
Beep, beep, beep. Do, do, do, do, do.
Unless the coward's afraid to see an unarmed girl one-on-one, huh?
Where is he?
You know what this is?
This is like some radical Alice in Wonderland. That's what this is.
Well, you've probably got a best seller on your hands.
Call the police, jack. You're not a one-man army.
Cops got better things to do than get killed.
Hey, here he is.
No, no, no. These are our friends. These are the Chang Sings.
Any of'em savvy English?
- Hey, man. Who is this guy? - All right, all right. You got any guns?
Well, not against Lo Pan, but here. Here's one for you.
Make you feel better, like Dirty Harry.
I'll stick with these. You coming with us, Egg?
Of course, jack. It's my destiny.
Besides, if I don't, you'll never make it out alive.
- I'm on board too then. - Yeah, sure, kid.
You can't keep the press out, mister. This is America.
You're not going back there, Margo.
You're staying here topside with Eddie and Uncle Chu.
- Eddie? But he's- - He's got a crush on you.
You mean like you've got on Gracie? Are you kidding?
I just want to get my truck back.
Oh, yeah. What do I know? She's not even your type- all brains.
- Hey, come on. - Let's go.
Huh. Play your cards right, you live to talk about it.
Oh, boy.
Are you okay? Are you Mao 'fin?
Yes. Miao Yin.
Who-Who are you? L 0 Pan.
You have come to seek me out with your green eyes.
Yes.
- No. N-No. - Yes.
What's going on here? Is this some kind of- Magic.
The darkest magic.
My soul swims in it, scattered across time,
trapped in the world of formlessness,
until I find her and marry her.
Marry her?
The girl with green eyes.
The girl who can tame the burning blade.
Miao Yin...
or Grace Law.
Great start, Egg. It's the other way.
You tried the front door, it got you nowhere. Here. Let me hold that.
A brave man likes the feel of nature on his face, jack.
Yeah, and a wise man has enough sense to get in out of the rain.
He lives here? He owns the whole block. He's a very rich guy.
Rich? This place is a dump, Wang.
To Western eyes. The stuff in these bottles is priceless.
Well, all set?
Yeah. Ready when you are, Egg.
Jack next. Yeah. Where's this go now?
Down. Lo Pan is down there.
Down where? Where is the universe?
Come on, jack. Don't be afraid.
Afraid? Are you kidding?
Where in the hell are we? Underneath Chinatown.
That is not water.
Black blood of the earth.
Don't you mean oil? I mean black blood of the earth.
A thousand years ago, huge earthquakes...
turned the world upside down.
Many normal people were killed.
Many unnatural people...
roamed free to commit...
great offenses against the gods.
Hai!
They have survived the burning blade...
and tamed the savage heart.
I will marry both women.
- Prepare them. - Hai!
- Hai!
What is that, huh?
I mean, it sounds like-
Something breathing underwater. Yeah.
You will come out no more.
What? Huh? What'll come out no more?
Come on!
Damn it!
Miao Yin?
Hey, Wang? Egg?
Hey, jack, come on!
It's okay, jack. Wing Kong's storeroom. Emergency provisions.
We're inside Lo Pan's domain.
Christ.
Later.
We're getting close- real close.
And now for some more bad news. Ready?
- What, this gets worse? Come on. - 2, 258 years ago,
the first sovereign emperor, Qin Shi Huang,
he subjugated Lo Pan, made him of low flesh.
Only an evil dream-
Get to the goddamn point, Egg.
In order to be whole again, he had to find this certain girl...
of his prophecy and marry her to appease the God of the East.
But to appease the emperor, he had to kill her.
- Kill her? No! - Well, let's go.
What are we talking Chinese history for when we gotta get-
Oh, we are getting ready to strike the final blow,
if we reach Lo Pan. When we reach Lo Pan.
Ah! Then the power in this flask will be our only hope...
against the boldest satyr of the underworld, the ultimate evil spirit.
Oh, yes. Only a dream can kill a dream.
I've waited for this for a long time, jack.
The evil dream will die.
Wing Kong outside.
- Were they real? - Yeah. Dressed for Lo Pan's wedding.
What's in the flask, Egg? Magic potion? Yeah.
Thought so. Good. What do we do, drink it?
Yeah. Good. I thought so.
I am the past come back to haunt you, Lo Pan!
My God, no.
Please. What is that? Don't tell me.
A guardian. What it sees, Lo Pan knows.
They have returned.
And this time they are not alone. Egg Shen is with them.
That little bastard sorcerer has brought them...
through the bog of the dead trees.
Egg Shen. Egg Shen!
You have come a long ways to find me, but it is too late.
There are two girls with green eyes, and I will many them both.
And then I will sacrifice Gracie Law to appease my emperor...
and live out my earthly pleasures with Miao Yin.
That's right, Egg Shen.
The best of two worlds.
Hey, you never know till you try.
Let's get out of here.
You know what I don't like about this? Where is everybody?
Preparing for Lo Pan's wedding.
Oh, man.
We should not be in here- not this easily. It's a setup, I'm telling you.
Lo Pan is about to take his queen. He's too busy to care.
So where is he, Egg, huh? Where?
Jack, here. What?
Hollow? Hollow.
Fuck it.
Jack. I know. It's an elevator, and it only goes down.
- Yeah, look. - Hey, all right.
Time for the medicine!
Cheers!
Uh, this does what again, exactly?
Huge buzz.
Oh, good!
You can see things no one else can see,
do things no one else can do.
Real things? As real as Lo Pan.
Oh. Hey, what more could a guy ask for?
The six-demon bag. Terrific. A six-demon bag.
Sensational. What's in it, Egg?
Wind, fire- all that kind of thing.
Here's to the army and navy, and the battles they have won.
Here's to America's colors- the colors that never run.
May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.
Ah!
Feel pretty good. And I'm not, uh-
I'm not scared at all. I just feel kind of-
I feel kind of invincible. Me too.
I got a very positive attitude about this. Good. Me too.
Yeah.
Is it gettin' hot in here, or is it just me?
Ching Dai. Ching Dai.
O great Ching Dai, equal with heaven,
come into our presence...
and witness this holy matrimony.
Miao Yin. And the ultimate evil spirit.
And now, my beloved disciples,
the moment of truth.
The needle of love.
Time to shoot that bastard. No, not until he's married.
Then he's flesh. Then it's too late.
O Ching Dai, you who shake the heavens...
and descend from the East.
All I ask in order to conquer this universe...
is that you grant me flesh and blood.
Yes.
Guide my hand...
as I insert this needle into Miao Yin.
Let him complete the ceremony,
then he is ours for certain.
Come, my love. Give it to me.
It's working!
I'm mortal!
Look out, guys!
No way.
Yes.
Damn it!
Come.
Come on. It won't hurt.
Aw, shit!
Take her.
Peasant magic.
You never could beat me, Egg Shen.
Hmm!
Oh!
Shit.
It's me, Gracie. You all right?
Never mind me. We gotta get Lo Pan. Where is he?
Wang! Come on.
Pull it apart. Come on!
Oh.
Jack!
Where does this go? Up, to his office- Lo Pan's office.
It's cooler up there. From there we can- Do you have a gun, I hope?
I have a knife. A knife?
This guys 12 feet tall! Seven. Hey, don't worry. I can handle him.
I took something. I can see things no one else can see.
Why are you dressed like that? I-I-l was getting married.
He was marrying both of us just because,
uh, my eyes are green too.
I guess-I mean-
Oh, God, is this really happening?
Look into my eyes. No. Never.
I have suffered so much pain and agony. Shh.
Look at me! No! I don't understand.
I don't belong to you.
You don't. You belong to Ching Dai.
I must sacrifice you, but I love you and I need you.
No!
Here. Take her! Take the bitch!
Master, you are flesh! I am. I am!
It worked! Ching Dai is appeased.
Now we must satisfy the first sovereign emperor by destroying this!
Not so fast, gentlemen.
Is it too much to ask, Thunder? Kill him for me!
It won't solve anything, Dave. Too many people around here...
have been dropping like flies already, and where's that getting us, huh?
Nowhere, and fast.
Ah, you know what old jack Burton always says at a time like this?
- Who? - Jack Burton-me.
Old jack always says, “What the hell?”
It's a good knife.
Good-bye, Mr. Burton.
It's all in the reflexes.
Wang.
You all right? Yeah.
Hey, thanks. Wait a minute.
I don't think he's gonna stop.
Come on!
We got a problem. There!
Jack! Come on, jack!
Lump, jack! jump!
The whole place is melting!
Hello! Hello!
How'd you get up there? Wasn't easy!
Stand aside!
Take it away!
Go!
Hey, hang on to this.
Watch out, Wang Chi!
Go for it, Wang!
Oh!
Go!
Hold on to me! Don't let me go!
Do you know where you're going?
Faster, faster! They're coming! jack!
The sliding door! Yeah.
Go! Hurry, jack! Hurry! Come on, jack! Open it!
Come on! There's my truck.
My truck! Get in!
They took the key!
Well, don't you have a spare? Of course I do, but it's underneath the-
Oh.
What was that? 6.9 on the Richter scale. Hang on!
Sorry.
Don't you know how to drive this thing? Relax.
Stop! Red light!
Take it easy. Take it easy. Okay.
Okay, we made it. We made it. Yeah.
Oh, look at that.
Doesn't that make you feel good? Terrific.
Light's green. You can go.
All right! The real thing. Come on. Come on.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey!
What are you doing, jack?
I'll be right back. Hey, where you going, Egg?
Oh, well, my work's done.
Lo Pan is dead, and the evil spell has been lifted.
Years ago, I promised myself a long vacation,
and it's time to collect.
Well, why don't you go on over to China, visit the motherland?
Well, China's in the heart, jack.
Wherever I go, she's with me.
So, what are you gonna call it?
I don't know.
Maybe you can come over to my place later and...
help me find a title.
Here, jack. Nothin' or triple.
Nothin' or double. Triple. You earned it.
You're right. I did. Thanks, Wang.
Well, last chance. I'm a rich man now.
Give up the open road, sell my truck, settle down.
I couldn't have that on my conscience.
The only way it might work is if you buy a bigger truck-
one with a cozy little apartment in back, just big enough for two.
Sounds pretty great. But you know something?
Sooner or later, I rub everybody the wrong way and-
Well, let me think about it.
God, aren't you even gonna kiss her good-bye?
No.
See you around, Burton.
Never can tell.
Bye, jack.
We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn't we, Wang?
No horseshit, jack. No horseshit.
You just listen to the old Pork-Chop Express here now...
and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashing...
and the thunder's rollin' and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead.
Just remember what old jack Burton does...
when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky...
and the pillars of heaven shake.
Yeah, jack Burton just looks that big old storm right square in the eye,
and he says, “Give me your best shot, pal.
I can take it. ”